Skywalker Ranch needs a democratic government.

Posted: March 1, 2011 by ryanlecocq in Off-topic

I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem with the new Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies are the lack of vetoes.  When George Lucas and Steven Spielberg had to beg the studio for every penny and get every single draft approved, the movies went through a lot more editing before we saw them.  Not to mention, in the 80s, they would have had to tell Spielberg that Shia just plain couldn’t swing with monkeys because they couldn’t train the monkeys.  The late night brainstorming that went into working around these difficulties produced the extremely polished films we came to love.

These days though, George Lucas has his own City-State that owns some of the most desirable tech in Hollywood.  They can just finance a movie themselves with the money of all those parents who bought Lego Star Wars and Indy.  When George Lucas finally came up with a draft for the prequels, complete with Jar Jar and plot holes, I seriously doubt anyone stopped him and said “Does Episode 1 have a protagonist?”  Most people would say that this is America and a man can destroy his intellectual property any way he likes with his own money.

Where I cry foul is that Star Wars is more than just one man’s dream now.  The Force is central to the beliefs and moral core of millions of people around the world.  In many nations Jedi is considered a recognized religion.  So I would counter that although King James may have commissioned the Holy Bible, the Pope saw fit to surround it’s interpretation with an unprecedented level of beaurocracy and even have it written in a language people didn’t speak anymore.  I’m not saying that Star Wars should turn into a mystic and secretive closed society from which genocide can be ordered across many nations, but a step in that direction.  Lucasfilm (and the Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Willow and whatever that they own) needs at least a panel of experts who have equal power to George or Steven.

So when Steven Spielberg or George Lucas come forward with a new Jar Jar and Shia Lebouf filled script, this panel would pick it apart, comparing every element to things that have worked in past Star Wars or Indy stories from the vast library of movies, shows, comic books and novels.  If they find an element that they believe will alienate more core fans than it will gain fringe ones, they can demand another draft.  In almost any other movie this happens anyway.  If James Cameron wasn’t James Cameron, he would have submitted Avatar to experienced script editors who would have probably asked him after 3 pages if he’d seen Ferngully and avoided one of the most pathetic and hilarious accidental remakes in history.  No matter who you are, when your creations become bigger than you, you have to give them to the world.  It’s surprising that George Lucas talks so much about his kids as this is something a parent should already know.

This would definitely be something very awkward for the federal government to mandate, so I’m really hoping the Monarchs themselves will benevolently step down.  Here’s hoping it happens before anymore Star Wars movies come out.

  1. lagunawsu2 says:

    In a recent twist, it was just revealed that Frank Darabont (he wrote The Shawshank Redemption and some other wonderful films) had released a script for the new Indiana Jones (without aliens) which Spielberg and the studio loved. However, big bad George Lucas had the death star known as creative control, which he used to blast this script from orbit, replacing it with the hacked up pieces of space dust you saw on the big screen. Makes you want to cry.

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